Planting Seeds for Growth

The start of a new year often carries a sense of anticipation—a collective sigh of relief and the promise of a fresh start. The tradition of setting New Year’s resolutions reflects this desire to write a new chapter in the story of our lives, to take action and create change. But for many, this ritual can stir up a mix of emotions, from hope and excitement to fear, guilt, and frustration. These emotions are not just side effects; they are part of the story we are telling ourselves about who we are and who we want to become.

In narrative therapy, we view people as the authors of their own stories. This perspective allows us to explore how we relate to our goals, desires, and struggles, and how the stories we tell about ourselves can shape our sense of possibility. When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, embracing a narrative approach means understanding the emotions we feel as integral to the story we are writing about our growth, rather than seeing them as barriers to success.

This blog post explores how emotions shape the resolutions we set, and how we can approach our goals with a narrative mindset that fosters growth, compassion, and connection to our deeper values.

The Emotional Landscape of New Year’s Resolutions

When we make resolutions, we are essentially writing a new chapter in our life’s story. But like any good story, this process is complex. It’s not just about what we want to achieve, but also about the emotions that come with change—emotions that are tied to the narratives we hold about ourselves, our past, and our potential. Let’s take a closer look at how different emotions show up in the story of our resolutions.

Hope and Anticipation: The Call to Adventure

For many of us, New Year’s resolutions come from a deep desire to evolve, to step into a new version of ourselves. We look at the blank page of the year ahead and feel excited by the possibility of change. This is the "call to adventure" in our narrative—when we see a path forward and feel compelled to take the first step.

But the beginning of any new story is not without its challenges. We often bring with us the characters and plotlines from our past—the successes, the failures, the disappointments—that influence how we view the potential for success. Hope is a powerful force, but it’s important to also acknowledge the underlying doubts and fears that accompany this excitement. These emotions aren’t necessarily obstacles—they are part of the context in which our story is unfolding.

Fear and Anxiety: The Inner Critic’s Voice

As we move forward with our resolutions, we might encounter a quieter voice within us—the voice of fear. What if I fail again? What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t live up to my own expectations? These thoughts often come from the stories we have been telling ourselves about our past failures or limitations. They represent the internalized doubts that have accumulated over time, whether from past experiences or societal pressures.

In narrative therapy, we understand these voices not as truths, but as “externalized” parts of our story—representations of fear, insecurity, or past experiences that are no longer serving us. When we externalize these voices, we are able to see them for what they are—temporary narratives that don’t define who we are. By doing so, we create space for other, more empowering stories to emerge.

Guilt and Self-Criticism: The Burden of Expectations

When we fall short of our resolutions, the emotions of guilt and self-criticism often come rushing in. These feelings are deeply tied to our personal narratives about success, worthiness, and failure. When we set goals and don’t meet them, it can feel as though we are failing in the larger story of our lives.

But the story of failure is not the end of the narrative—it is simply a chapter that offers an opportunity for reflection and revision. In narrative therapy, we call this “re-authoring” our story. Instead of seeing ourselves as failures, we can view setbacks as part of the process, as opportunities to reframe the meaning of the struggle. We can ask ourselves: What can I learn from this chapter? How can I use this experience to create a more compassionate and realistic narrative about growth?

Resilience and Empowerment: Writing the Next Chapter

One of the most powerful aspects of narrative therapy is the idea that we can reframe the stories we tell about ourselves. This means that we are not defined by our past failures or by the emotions that arise when we don’t meet our resolutions. Instead, we have the power to “re-author” our lives, to take control of the narrative, and to write a story of resilience and empowerment.

The emotional journey of pursuing New Year’s resolutions—hope, fear, guilt, and all—can become part of a larger story of growth and self-discovery. Rather than seeing emotions as something to avoid or suppress, we can approach them as necessary elements in the plot of our personal growth. By embracing both the challenges and the triumphs, we create a richer, more nuanced story of who we are becoming.

Now that we understand how emotions shape our experience of New Year’s resolutions, stay tuned for the next blog where we’ll explore how we can use narrative therapy principles to approach goal-setting in a way that honors our emotional landscape and creates space for meaningful, lasting change.