Planting Seeds for Growth…Covering Ground

Embracing narrative therapy principles means seeing our goals as chapters in a larger story—one where we are both the protagonist and the author. Instead of framing resolutions as rigid rules or quick fixes, we can craft them as part of a journey shaped by our values, emotions, and personal history. This approach allows us to rewrite unhelpful narratives, draw strength from past successes, and create goals that feel aligned with who we are and who we want to become. Let’s dive into practical ways to use narrative therapy to make this year’s resolutions more intentional, compassionate, and transformative.

Reframe Your Resolutions as Intentions

Instead of approaching resolutions as rigid, measurable goals, consider framing them as intentions. Intentions are flexible, evolving stories that allow room for growth, reflection, and change. By setting intentions, you are embracing the idea that your goals are not set in stone—they are simply a direction you are moving toward, knowing that the path may shift as you learn more about yourself.

For example, rather than resolving to “lose 20 pounds by March,” you might set the intention to “cultivate a deeper sense of well-being and self-care.” This shift in language opens the door to a broader, more compassionate narrative about your health that doesn’t focus solely on external results but honors your emotional and mental well-being along the way.

Identify and Externalize the Emotional Barriers

One of the key principles in narrative therapy is the practice of externalizing the problem. This means separating ourselves from the emotions, limiting beliefs, or fears that may be holding us back. When we feel fear, guilt, or anxiety about our resolutions, we can externalize those feelings by naming them and recognizing that they do not define us.

For instance, you might identify the voice of self-doubt as “The Inner Critic” or recognize the fear of failure as “The Anxious Voice.” By giving these emotions a name, we can create distance from them, allowing us to take a more objective stance. Instead of saying, “I’m not good enough to achieve my goals,” we can reframe it as, “The Inner Critic is telling me I can’t succeed, but I know this is just one story that doesn’t define my abilities.”

Break Goals Into Smaller, Meaningful Steps

Rather than viewing your resolutions as a single, large task, break them down into smaller, more manageable steps that align with your values. Each small success becomes part of the larger narrative, contributing to the story of your progress and growth.

For example, if your goal is to improve your physical health, instead of aiming for drastic changes, you could set small intentions like walking for 10 minutes each day or incorporating one healthy meal into your week. These small steps are not just about achieving a specific goal; they are part of a broader story of living in alignment with your values and intentions.

Be Kind to Yourself When the Story Shifts

The story of personal growth is rarely a straight line. You will likely encounter challenges, detours, and unexpected turns along the way. When you don’t meet a goal or face setbacks, it’s important to approach yourself with kindness and understanding. Re-authoring your story doesn’t mean ignoring the emotions of failure or disappointment—it means recognizing that these feelings are part of the process and that they do not define who you are.

Instead of allowing yourself to be consumed by guilt or shame, take a moment to reflect on what this chapter can teach you. How can you adjust your approach? What new insight can you bring to the next chapter? By embracing the ebb and flow of the process, you can continue writing a more compassionate, empowering story.

Writing Your Story with Compassion and Purpose

New Year’s resolutions can be more than just goals—they can be a way to re-author the story of your life. By understanding the emotions that arise during this time and using narrative therapy principles, you can approach your resolutions in a way that is aligned with your values, compassionate toward yourself, and flexible enough to accommodate the inevitable twists and turns of life.

Rather than being driven by the fear of failure or the pressure of perfection, embrace your resolutions as part of an ongoing narrative of growth and self-discovery. Give yourself permission to feel, to stumble, and to learn, knowing that each chapter is an opportunity to deepen the story of who you are and who you are becoming.